They were the couple everyone admired. Thirty, maybe forty years of shared life—building a home, raising kids, balancing careers, hosting holiday dinners. They did everything “right.” And now, in retirement, the calendar is wide open. The house is quiet. The nest is empty. And for the first time in decades, there’s no distraction from the question neither of them wants to ask:
Who are we now—together?
In this powerful and deeply human episode of How NOT to Retire, Dr. Richard Himmer explores one of the most unsettling and under-discussed realities of modern retirement: gray divorce—the rising wave of couples parting ways not in the chaos of youth, but in the stillness of their later years.
This isn’t the kind of divorce that comes with fiery arguments or betrayal. It’s the slow, quiet erosion of emotional intimacy. It’s what happens when years of busy schedules and family obligations mask a growing distance—until one day, the silence between two people becomes louder than the life they built together.
In a world where retirement is painted as the reward at the end of a long journey, gray divorce exposes a more difficult truth: retirement doesn’t just reveal your finances—it reveals your relationship.
Dr. Himmer takes us into the emotional landscape behind the numbers, beyond the legal paperwork, and into the very heart of what causes two people who once said “forever” to quietly walk away.
In this episode, you’ll explore:
The hidden dangers of routine: how emotional drift happens while everything looks fine on the surface
The real cost of not growing together: how couples become strangers not because of conflict, but because of neglect
Why communication in retirement must evolve—or relationships begin to fade
How staying “married” isn’t the same as staying connected
The steps you can take now to reignite curiosity, empathy, and shared meaning in your relationship
This isn’t just a relationship episode—it’s a wake-up call for anyone entering retirement with someone else in tow. Because aging together is possible—but only if you’re willing to grow together.
Tune in now and discover how to reconnect not just as partners in retirement—but as partners in life.
And remember: Don’t try harder. Try different.
🎓 Want to explore deeper?
As a loyal podcast listener, access Dr. Himmer’s on-demand course How NOT to Retire for FREE at HowNotToRetire.com.
Questions about the course? Email us anytime at plan@madronafinancial.com!
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