The conversations that save relationships don’t always start with the right words—they start with the right ears.
We often imagine retirement as a reward for decades of effort—a time to enjoy peace, freedom, and deeper connection. But for many couples, what begins as a new chapter becomes a quiet unraveling. The words are still spoken. The routines still shared. But the presence? That vanished long ago.
In this episode of How NOT to Retire, Dr. Richard Himmer explores one of the most undervalued—but essential—skills for any relationship: listening. Not hearing. Not fixing. Not waiting for your turn to speak. Listening.
Drawing from stories of long-married couples, high-achieving professionals, and quietly drifting retirees, Dr. Himmer confronts a hard truth: we don’t lose love because we stop caring. We lose it because we stop noticing. Curiosity fades. The room goes quiet. And what’s left is a partnership in name, not in spirit.
But this is not a story of loss—it’s a roadmap to reconnection.
Through vulnerable stories, psychological insight, and practical tools, Dr. Himmer offers a wake-up call to anyone coasting through conversations, assuming that longevity equals intimacy, or that time automatically builds connection.
In this episode you’ll learn:
Why long marriages still fall apart—not from lack of love, but from lack of curiosity
The difference between conflict (which is healthy) and contention (which is deadly)
How real listening defuses defensiveness, reconnects couples, and prevents emotional drift
Why connection requires effort—not perfection—and why your later years depend on it
Whether you’re newly retired or 30 years into your relationship, this episode invites you to reconsider what connection looks like—and what it really sounds like.
Because sometimes, saving your relationship doesn’t start with a grand gesture—it starts with a pause.
And remember: Don’t try harder. Try different.
🎓 Want to explore deeper?
As a loyal podcast listener, access Dr. Himmer’s on-demand course How NOT to Retire for FREE at HowNotToRetire.com.
Questions about the course? Email us anytime at plan@madronafinancial.com!
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